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People of Ricochet, I am back. Just in time to sort out your love lives in the two weeks we have until Valentine’s Day.
Dear Amelia: I have two darling interns — bright, beautiful, all-American girls in the young leaders program at the Heritage Foundation. They want to balance careers and start families but can’t find life partners in this city. I want to protect them from Tinder and shield them from the late night spots and a decade of dating around, wasting their time. Basically they are me 10 years ago. What advice should I give them? — (Trying to be) Helpful on the Hill
DC is a dating wasteland for decent young ladies, which they probably know by now. Assuming they won’t leave the swamp, the most important thing you can tell them is to keep living their lives while looking for Mr. Right to come along. Grow that career, enjoy their friends, and do their own thing. They can’t put everything else on hold to wait, because they might be waiting a while.
Of course, they still do want to meet a partner and, to do that, they need to stay true to their values and themselves. I’m also assuming that they’re not “hookup” kind of girls? Regardless, don’t hook up! These ladies will waste a lot more time in relationships that are going nowhere if they compromise who they are to get the guy.
Be their dating guide if you need to be, run their dating apps for them so they can separate those guys on Tinder who are like the other 99 percent of the guys on Tinder and which guys actually have potential. Meanwhile, the interns should consider meeting a nice guy in their hometown who they can import. DC is not a city built for sweet girls to find their happily-ever-after but, if they’re willing to stick it out, it can happen! Be their Yoda; they’re lucky to have you.
My wife has been waiting 16 years for me to paint the inside of our house. How much longer can I put this off? #AskAmHam
I would suggest making clear steps towards this goal before every major event (Valentine’s Day, birthdays, Christmas, anniversary) to reduce your gift budget. At some point, it will be cheaper just to hire somebody else to do it.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years and talk frequently about getting married and starting a family — we are even picking out an engagement ring. My question: Have I totally killed the romance and stripped myself of the “surprise” of actually getting engaged since I know it’s (eventually) going to happen? What can I do to put this on the right track?
Wanting the Magic
I have a feeling you’re not going to like this advice, but take a deep breath and a step back. He knows what kind of rings you like and you are sure he’s going to pop the question. So let him. He’s going to decide when and where and, if you want that OMG OMG this is happening! surprise moment, you’re going to have to give up control of the situation. That might even mean telling him that you want it to be a surprise so you don’t want to overplan it together. He’ll propose when the time is right and you will have your moment, then a lifetime together when you get to the marriage, and that’s really what it’s all about.
Agree? Disagree? Have something to add? Leave a comment!
Want to submit a question? Tweet using #AskAmHam or email [email protected].