Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Simple Life

 

wedding ringsI am a monogamous married man. I am not a romantic person, but I do love my wife dearly. I enjoy a simple life with her.

I do not have an ex. No ex-wife, no ex-in-laws, no alimony, no child support, no lawyer. My wife is the mother of my children, which also simplifies their lives. Our kids never had to keep a personal scheduler to know which home to go to after school. They never had to do that blended family thing.

I don’t have any former friends who are now friends of an ex. I never changed church because it was too uncomfortable to attend the church of my ex.

My wife shares my faith, so that also simplifies life.

I passed up chances for professional advancement in order to stay near family and to avoid excessive travel. That simplifies life in a couple of ways. First, I had more time with family, which allows for better communications within the family. Second, we had less money, so we never got involved in complicated hobbies or travel.

I like my simple life. I enjoy simple pleasures.

Simple Sex

I will discuss a couple of recent conversations below. (Yeah, I know; too many words. Be prepared, because my remarks weigh in at five pages.)

First I want to put some thoughts out about married sex. Married sex is great fun. It is better fun when you keep things simple.

I never had any kind of sex with any other person but my wife. She can say the same about me. There are benefits.

When we make love, she never has to second-guess whether I am comparing her to some other woman, or wishing for some spicy babe. I am not comparing her body or her techniques to anyone else, because I have no other experience or frame of reference for such comparisons. I enjoy my wife for who she is. I am saving all my love for her, and she knows it. There is a security for her in this knowledge, and intimacy. She is the only one for me.

Male Promiscuity

We have recently discussed promiscuity in men, and the way male promiscuity is expected and celebrated, including here at Ricochet.

In the recent discussion on promiscuity in men, the Original Post stated that no religious responses were wanted. So I will post some of those thoughts here, and state now that everything I have to say is informed by traditionalist Christian moral teachings.

In the promiscuity thread, it was stated in the comments that the only strong curb on male promiscuity is women refusing sex. I think this is in error; there is another strong curb: morals. Men know that their acts are immoral, but they do them anyway. The women also know this.

Traditionalist Christianity (and Orthodox Judaism) teaches that G-d wants sex acts to be reserved for married couples. All other sex acts are sinful. You may disagree with this point of doctrine, but it remains the standard by which religious people should view sex.

Sexual sin has a very strong appeal. Resisting temptation is many times a difficult discipline. Nevertheless, we still prize self-discipline, don’t we? So, why is it that we have a culture that mocks the 40-year-old virgin as somehow a defective state of living? In fact, it is clear that contemporary American culture is obsessed by sex, and, in particular, celebrates sexual perversions. Our mass media have been pushing into increasingly disturbing territory.

I do not see how a productive conversation about promiscuity can avoid the topics of sin, morality and religion.

Mass Media v. monogamy

I first noticed this with “Summer of ’42,” a Warner Brothers movie that was billed as “a coming of age film.” That was a euphemism for losing virginity. Young people fascinated by sex, and the celebration of first sex, all mixed with themes of loneliness and sadness and a May-December fling. The movie became a blockbuster hit. It celebrated fornication. It came out while I was in high school.

Of course, mass media has been pushing a libertine agenda for a century. The rise of Progressivism coincided with the invention of movies. So, let me ask the movie buffs out there, what was the most recent big-budget Hollywood romance that did not feature adultery? I think you have to go back to the 1950s to find one.

Television has been snickering at male characters who were clumsy and naïve and not successful with the women, ever since the advent of TV. “Bad boy” characters are popular with the women, on the screen and in real life. We celebrate the peccadilloes of the rich and famous on the covers of tabloids at the checkout line. We entertain ourselves by celebrating their sexual sins.

Of course, this is a theme of literature that can be traced back to Renaissance poetry. Romance!

Romance

Romance is a topic that could be a field of study, and probably is (though I would not trust anyone who claimed to be an expert in the literature of romance, since they would probably be both Leftist and libertine). Romance celebrated the concept of love, and exalted the concept of unrequited love. Romance is full of tales of love for the unavailable. Romance is full of bad boys who turned out good in the end. Romance is full of tales of women who made the choices expected of them by tradition, and who lived to regret their choice. Romance is full of young lovers who made foolish choices. Foolish choices were celebrated whether the tale turns out happy or sad.

Our culture has been filled with foolish notions of romance.

These cultural memes are leveraged by contemporary mass media libertines who keep pushing the edge of taboos, celebrating the perversions of colorful characters, and portraying all sorts of self-destructive behaviors in formats that conclude before getting to the part that shows any consequences.

Feminism

Feminism embraced the sexual revolution. Movement Feminists have been encouraging women to behave like men when it comes to sex. This betrays their motives as more interested in Leftism and libertinism than in the welfare of women. The availability of foolish women who are living the hook-up lifestyle encouraged by the feminists are the ruin of many men.

Pornography

Porn rots your brain. Men are visually stimulated. This is why the women work so hard on their looks, and this fuels the revealing of female skin. The visual orientation of the male brain with regard to sex has given rise to a shameful industry of pornographers and a robust and widespread practice of homemade porn and the easy availability of porn on the internet.

Porn is particularly damaging to young men. It gives them all sorts of wrong ideas about sex and about women. These wrong ideas lead to strife in relationships. I think many couples have split up because the man completely misunderstood the woman on account of his indulgence in porn.

Rationalizations

All this cultural obsession with sexual sins serves as a broad base for rationalizing sexual sin, and for dismissing sex acts as sinful. The cry of “victimless crime” was used to repeal all sorts of laws that forbade sexual sins. Pornography led the way, with famous lawsuits from the 1960s through the 1980s. Homosexual sex was recently made legal, and now in blue states we have the enforced celebration of it. Incest, group sex, underage sex and prostitution are all current fronts where the mass media is softening the resistance to overthrowing all the old taboos.

This background makes it easy for Americans to rationalize that resistance to temptations to sexual sins is old-fashioned prudery.

This is spiritually dangerous.

Spiritual consequences

Leftists have their religion of leftism. Leftist mass media are vigorously proselytizing on several fronts. They promote syncretism and ecumenism. They promote agnosticism and Atheism. They promote Pantheism and Panentheism. They wink at Paganism, because they like how it goads theists, especially Christians. They condemn traditional Christians; we are characterized as hateful ignorant bigots. (These slanders have become so ingrained in the culture that our Supreme Court has ruled that voters who are motivated by traditional religious morality are hateful ignorant bigots whose choices must be overthrown.)

This shift of America into Leftism dulls the moral sense. It provides a background of moral chaos and contradiction and confusion. It paves the road to perdition.

The sexual sins do have consequences, both grave and mundane. They set you on a path that leads away from G-d. That has eternal consequences.

But, back to my original point, the sexual sins complicate your life.

Divorce

Conservatives were mocked when they said that no-fault divorce was a bad idea. All the cautions of the conservatives have come to fruition. Divorce is endemic now, to such an extent that many young people are avoiding marriage because they fear divorce.

“G-d hates divorce” says the prophet Malachi. G-d does not hate divorced people. G-d hates what divorce does to his people. Divorce divides. It separates families. It complicates life.

Life is better when you keep things simple.

This is not finger-pointing at divorce, nor am I blaming all divorce on sexual sins. I am just speaking up as a monogamous male, since we are seldom heard from.

I have no complaint about blended families. I know many, though, and I can say that there are stresses that come with that life. A family that is dear to me is a blended family because a young mother died, and a young father died. The widow and the widower are blessed to have each other. They stand out among the blended families in my acquaintance. The lack of ex-spouses greatly reduces the complications of their blended family life. May G-d bless them.

Adultery

Adultery really complicates life. You tell a lie, then another and another. Soon you need to upgrade your schedule software to keep up with your lies. You get dodgy and sneaky. And the sex has an extra zing because of the forbidden nature of it. That reveals just where the moral line belongs, doesn’t it? The fact that everyone, especially the participants, all know it is a forbidden relationship; that it crosses the line and should be taboo. It is a taboo because it is a betrayal of trust and a betrayal of intimacy. It erodes your moral fiber. So, why have Americans shelled out so much money for generations to entertain themselves with stories that highlight adultery?

Fornication

Fornication also complicates life. See my early section above, “Simple Sex,” to see the simple version. Racking up a series of previous lovers will diminish your ability to connect with the sort of intimacy that G-d intended for marriage. Having a robust sexual past will give your new spouse all sorts of questions that impede true intimacy. Each spouse will be holding a little of themselves in reserve, just in case this relationship doesn’t last. A past life history of fornication does not doom a marriage, but it does inhibit the fullness of togetherness that you should experience in marriage.

Biblical morality

As noted above, the Bible says that sex should be reserved for married couples. Period. All other sex is sin.

G-d created sex; Adam and Eve enjoyed each other in the Garden before they chose disobedience. Sex for them was perfect and holy.

Sex for us is not perfect, nor holy. We are corrupted; all our acts are corrupted, and we learn every day the consequences of sin.

Division, dishonesty and distrust all result from the sexual sins. The practice of habitual sexual sins sets a person on a spiritual path that leads away from G-d. This is the most damaging consequence of all; and it makes true repentance more difficult. The worst sins are those that increase the division between the person and G-d. Those are the sins that the Bible calls “abomination.”

Consequences

Sin complicates your life. We all live in families and communities, so other people have to live with the consequences of your sins. Your spouse and kids, sometimes parents, friends or even neighbors or coworkers have friction enter their lives due to the consequences of your sins.

And, you have to live with the consequences of other peoples’ sins. Complications affect your emotional wellbeing. When people cannot trust each other, this is borne out in lots of ways. Emotional distance is kept, or people don’t talk to each other; sometimes someone dear to you moves away because of some third party’s sin.

Complications due to sin affect your financial wellbeing. The costs of divorce are devastating. There are other costs in other circumstances. Perhaps the greatest financial costs accrue to the poor unfortunates who are most emotionally devastated by betrayal. A small fraction of these people will get involved in alcohol, or drugs, or gambling, or some other self-destructive behavior, sometimes including the sexual sins that caused the distress in the first place. Those all have big financial costs, plus they compound the emotional misery.

Complications also affect your spiritual wellbeing. That is perhaps a topic for a separate post.

Keep life simple.

Trust

By being steady, and trustworthy, I win her trust. Because she trusts me, she is secure in our relationship. She is comfortable with me. The lack of second-guessing and hesitation allows free and honest communication. No secrets and no surprises. This also keeps life simple.

Monogamous Man

I recommend monogamy. It keeps life simple.

It helps you walk in the ways that G-d wants for you.

It helps your marriage. It helps spiritually, emotionally, financially, and it enhances intimacy, which leads to great sex.

I enjoy my simple life.

There are 237 comments.

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  1. DocJay Inactive

    Makes life a lot easier.

    I’m quite the opposite of you but was not a believer until age 34.

    • #1
    • August 24, 2016, at 6:08 PM PDT
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  2. Pencilvania Inactive

    Wise and wonderful. And simple!

    I tell my kids, I’ve lived long enough to see that life gets messy as you get older, without you even inviting Mess in. So don’t go inviting Mess in when you don’t have to.

    • #2
    • August 24, 2016, at 6:10 PM PDT
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  3. Mike Rapkoch Moderator

    With ya all the way.

    And here is a beautiful song about how divorce complicates the lives of children:

    • #3
    • August 24, 2016, at 6:13 PM PDT
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  4. She Reagan
    She Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Great post. You and your family are very lucky. I say that, also understanding that much of that ‘luck’ is the result of decisions and a lot of work.

    • #4
    • August 24, 2016, at 6:22 PM PDT
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  5. MJBubba Inactive
    MJBubba

    Pencilvania:Wise and wonderful. And simple!

    I tell my kids, I’ve lived long enough to see that life gets messy as you get older, without you even inviting Mess in. So don’t go inviting Mess in when you don’t have to.

    Yes, I was thinking of this last week when one of our hotshot members got to bragging on his conquests. He doesn’t see how that is likely to haunt any future relationship, just when he is really trying to get something to work.

    Life gets complicated enough as it is.

    • #5
    • August 24, 2016, at 6:27 PM PDT
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  6. MJBubba Inactive
    MJBubba

    1 Blessed is the man[a]
    who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
    nor stands in the way of sinners,
    nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
    but his delight is in the law[b] of the Lord,
    and on his law he meditates day and night.

    He is like a tree
    planted by streams of water
    that yields its fruit in its season,
    and its leaf does not wither.
    In all that he does, he prospers.

    • #6
    • August 24, 2016, at 7:15 PM PDT
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  7. Eustace C. Scrubb Member

    The media and many in our society say “The Simple Life” isn’t possible. I think it’s a good thing for young people to know that there are some of us who live it.

    • #7
    • August 24, 2016, at 7:18 PM PDT
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  8. MJBubba Inactive
    MJBubba

    Eustace C. Scrubb:The media and many in our society say “The Simple Life” isn’t possible. I think it’s a good thing for young people to know that there are some of us who live it.

    It is a good thing for our fellow members on Ricochet to know that there are some of us who live it.

    • #8
    • August 24, 2016, at 7:24 PM PDT
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  9. RightAngles Member

    Bubba, you are a National Treasure. There used to be a lot of people, most people even, living their lives the way you do, but it’s pretty rare these days. Your wife and children are very lucky. I know it isn’t easy.

    • #9
    • August 24, 2016, at 7:24 PM PDT
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  10. OldDanRhody's speakeasy Member

    MJBubba: I am just speaking up as a monogamous male, since we are seldom heard from.

    Thanks for doing this, Mr. Bubba.

    • #10
    • August 24, 2016, at 7:24 PM PDT
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  11. RightAngles Member

    Conservatives were mocked when they said that no-fault divorce was a bad idea. All the cautions of the conservatives have come to fruition. 

    I was going down the escalator at One Magnificent Mile in Chicago. There were two 20-something girls behind me. One of them said to her friend, “Oh well, it’s not like I’m gettin’ married forever or anything.” I nearly turned around and bopped her with a shopping bag.

    • #11
    • August 24, 2016, at 7:26 PM PDT
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  12. OldDanRhody's speakeasy Member

    When the allure of the exotic experience tempts, remember the marriage vow: a solemn vow between husband and wife made in the presence of God and before many witnesses. What does it say about one’s character when one violates that vow? It’s not just a simple act when seen in that light.

    • #12
    • August 24, 2016, at 7:33 PM PDT
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  13. MJBubba Inactive
    MJBubba

    OldDan Rhody:When the allure of the exotic experience tempts, remember the marriage vow: a solemn vow between husband and wife made in the presence of God and before many witnesses. What does it say about one’s character when one violates that vow? It’s not just a simple act when seen in that light.

    OldDan R., I had thought about adding a paragraph about honor, but I was already too long for Ricochet. A fellow who has been honorable about his wedding vow should be able to hold up with a better level of self respect. And, a guy who can present himself chaste to his bride even more so.

    It may sound quaint in our times, but it is the better way.

    Upon reflection, living with honor also has a simplifying theme.

    • #13
    • August 24, 2016, at 7:47 PM PDT
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  14. Snirtler Member

    Wow! Thank you for your witness.

    • #14
    • August 24, 2016, at 8:01 PM PDT
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  15. 9thDistrictNeighbor Member

    Positively countercultural…a very good thing nowadays.

    • #15
    • August 24, 2016, at 8:31 PM PDT
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  16. Mike H Coolidge

    Too long to read everything, but I largely agree.

    Though there’s surprisingly few people who can actually meet these standards, it’s an obvious goal.

    • #16
    • August 24, 2016, at 9:16 PM PDT
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  17. Hammer, The Member

    I agree on almost all counts. I’m in a very similar situation and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    My only point of disagreement is regarding your mention of “legalization” of, well, any form of sex. God’s laws are not for man’s government (especially secular government) to enforce. We suffer from a culture that desired these things (including divorce), which stems from a societal rejection of those values. If the society continues reject, it doesn’t matter what the government decrees. If society accepts, them we don’t need the government to validate or enforce.

    We are deceived when we focus less on changing the culture and more changing the government.

    • #17
    • August 24, 2016, at 9:22 PM PDT
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  18. RightAngles Member

    RightAngles:Conservatives were mocked when they said that no-fault divorce was a bad idea. All the cautions of the conservatives have come to fruition.

    I was going down the escalator at One Magnificent Mile in Chicago. There were two 20-something girls behind me. One of them said to her friend, “Oh well, it’s not like I’m gettin’ married forever or anything.” I nearly turned around and bopped her with a shopping bag.

    I submitted the above to a Chicago Tribune column about modern dating, and they printed it haha.

    • #18
    • August 24, 2016, at 10:41 PM PDT
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  19. Podkayne of Israel Member

    Very good, MJ! As the grateful wife of another monogamous male, I salute the gentlemen who choose to subdue both pulse and impulse in our promiscuous modern era. It’s a struggle, but it clears a “safe space” for the best things of civilization, when you do it right.

    • #19
    • August 25, 2016, at 1:26 AM PDT
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  20. MJBubba Inactive
    MJBubba

    RyanM:I agree on almost all counts. I’m in a very similar situation and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    My only point of disagreement is regarding your mention of “legalization” of, well, any form of sex. God’s laws are not for man’s government (especially secular government) to enforce. We suffer from a culture that desired these things (including divorce), which stems from a societal rejection of those values. If the society continues reject, it doesn’t matter what the government decrees. If society accepts, them we don’t need the government to validate or enforce.

    We are deceived when we focus less on changing the culture and more changing the government.

    I agree that the culture is the issue. I just pointed that out because it shows how rapidly our culture has lurched Leftward. Things that were illegal generally across America first became legal, then tolerated, then accepted, then promoted, then celebrated, and now in the blue states the celebration of homosexual sex is enforced by law. That is a complete reversal in 40 years.

    For cultural change to take place that quickly, our culture must have been rotten at the core.

    • #20
    • August 25, 2016, at 5:01 AM PDT
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  21. Fred Houstan Member

    MJBubba: So, why is it that we have a culture that mocks the 40-year-old virgin as somehow a defective state of living?

    This. Much, this. Back to reading.

    • #21
    • August 25, 2016, at 5:24 AM PDT
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  22. Tom Meyer, Common Citizen Contributor

    MJ, I second other’s general praise for this piece, but I disagree on a few points:

    MJBubba:When we make love, [my wife] never has to second-guess whether I am comparing her to some other woman, or wishing for some spicy babe. I am not comparing her body or her techniques to anyone else, because I have no other experience or frame of reference for such comparisons. I enjoy my wife for who she is. I am saving all my love for her, and she knows it. There is a security for her in this knowledge, and intimacy. She is the only one for me. […] Racking up a series of previous lovers will diminish your ability to connect with the sort of intimacy that G-d intended for marriage. Having a robust sexual past will give your new spouse all sorts of questions that impede true intimacy. Each spouse will be holding a little of themselves in reserve, just in case this relationship doesn’t last. A past life history of fornication does not doom a marriage, but it does inhibit the fullness of togetherness that you should experience in marriage.

    I think this underplays sexual imagination and the ability for even chaste people to experience sexual jealousy of this sort. What’s to prevent a wife from wondering whether her husband would rather be having sex with someone else, even if he’s chosen never to be with another besides her? Conversely, it’s entirely possible that past experience makes one more grateful and more connected to one’s spouse, especially if those previous experiences were bad.

    I’m not saying that we should, therefore, celebrate and encourage people to fornicate, only that the relationship between chastity and happiness isn’t always so simple.

    • #22
    • August 25, 2016, at 5:41 AM PDT
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  23. Fred Houstan Member

    MJBubba:

    I recommend monogamy. It keeps life simple.

    It helps you walk in the ways that G-d wants for you.

    There is much to love in your testimonial. Much of this parallels what we Catholics call the Culture of Life, and why Marriage is a sacrament — a visible sign of God’s invisible grace, and how contraception has accelerated the fall of women and the family.

    I wish for my children to ignore the loud voices of the media to hear this instead. My life is heavily complicated by my decision to live outside of His grace in my younger years, thinking I knew better than He, although I flat-out rejected Theism for many years.

    For those of you whose lives are complicated by the confusion of the lies of darkness, it’s never too late. The first shall be last, the last shall be first. A Church is a hospital for sinners.

    • #23
    • August 25, 2016, at 5:47 AM PDT
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  24. Susan Quinn Contributor

    Beautifully said. What I especially like is your deep and abiding faith, which fills your life, and your commitment to follow through because of your love of G-d and your family. Thank you for your reflections. Although our lives are different in some ways, I am enormously grateful for the simple life I lead, too.

    • #24
    • August 25, 2016, at 6:13 AM PDT
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  25. She Reagan
    She Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    On the subject of romantic literature @mjbubba, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

    There are two epochs you might consider: The Romance Literature of the Middle Ages and Romantic Literature of about 1800-1850.

    Neither of them has anything to do with the trashy bodice-rippers that we think of in the “Harlequin Romance” category today, which for the most part, are not romances, and are certainly not literature.

    And both comprise some of the most beautiful, lush, and vivid prose and poetry ever written. (Many of the best-known “Romantic” poets of the early 19th century were very young, and I forgive them some of their excesses and errors because of this. By and large, as they got older (if they didn’t die a young, Romantic death (see Shelley at 29, Keats at 26), and lived to a decent age, they wised up a bit.)

    The Medievals specialized in courtly love and chivalric romance. The latter-day Georgians and the early Victorians more in emotion and nature (and it’s true that the brooding Byronic hero, who originated here, probably is the basis for the bodice-ripping ‘rake with the sordid past but the heart of gold,’ who, to no-one’s greater surprise than his own, is always saved from himself at the end of the book, by the intrepid heroine. Not that I have ever actually read any of these books, of course. But this is what I am told).

    And while it’s true that the study of, and the students of, the Romance and Romantic genres have in many cases been infected with the same sort of left-wing claptrap that infests academia today, that’s not always the case, particularly with the Medievalists, whose literature is deeply rooted in the Christian tradition. Right-thinking (in all senses of the word) lovers and teachers of Medieval literature have not vanished from the earth just yet.

    I know. I married one.

    35 years and counting.

    • #25
    • August 25, 2016, at 6:32 AM PDT
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  26. Eustace C. Scrubb Member

    This post doesn’t help me at all in deciding who to vote for President.

    • #26
    • August 25, 2016, at 6:44 AM PDT
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  27. RightAngles Member

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:I think this underplays sexual imagination and the ability for even chaste people to experience sexual jealousy of this sort. What’s to prevent a wife from wondering whether her husband would rather be having sex with someone else, even if he’s chosen never to be with another besides her? Conversely, it’s entirely possible that past experience makes one more grateful and more connected to one’s spouse, especially if those previous experiences were bad.

    I’m not saying that we should, therefore, celebrate and encourage people to fornicate, only that the relationship between chastity and happiness isn’t always so simple.

    I think this is a valid point, people being what they are. A childhood friend of mine married the first man she’d been with, her college sweetheart. She was a good girl, very traditional, almost shy. Her husband was wonderful to her, and also traditional. BUT 10 years into the marriage, she began to wonder what she’d missed out on getting married so young (21) and not being with any other men. She ended up having an affair which broke up her marriage. The boyfriend dumped her the minute she was free, because he only wanted what he couldn’t have. I thought, yeah, THAT’s what you missed out on.

    • #27
    • August 25, 2016, at 6:58 AM PDT
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  28. OldDanRhody's speakeasy Member

    Fred Houstan: For those of you whose lives are complicated by the confusion of the lies of darkness, it’s never too late. The first shall be last, the last shall be first. A Church is a hospital for sinners.

    This is what I had neglected to include in my previous comments, and it was a crucial omission. Thank you Mr. Houstan, for this.

    • #28
    • August 25, 2016, at 7:01 AM PDT
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  29. Hammer, The Member

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    I think this underplays sexual imagination and the ability for even chaste people to experience sexual jealousy of this sort. What’s to prevent a wife from wondering whether her husband would rather be having sex with someone else, even if he’s chosen never to be with another besides her? Conversely, it’s entirely possible that past experience makes one more grateful and more connected to one’s spouse, especially if those previous experiences were bad.

    This is (almost) completely true, of course. Also, some couples are jealous by different things. I believe it was Billy Graham who never allowed himself to be alone with another woman, even in a professional setting. That likely had more to do with his fame and false accusations, but certainly there are men/women who simply get jealous by lesser things. That’s a relationship thing, and all couples need to work on it. I feel confident that I can go have lunch with my female friends, etc… and arouse no suspicion from my wife, because she knows me and trusts me, and vise versa.

    Of course, that doesn’t make MJBubba wrong. Even though complications arise even in the most dedicated marriages, those complications will only ever be made worse by previous sexual relationships.

    And while yes, previous experiences might make you more grateful, that’s a silver-lining, not an argument in favor of such relationships.

    • #29
    • August 25, 2016, at 7:51 AM PDT
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  30. Quietpi Member

    RightAngles: 15 years into the marriage, she began to wonder what she’d missed out on getting married so young (21) and not being with any other men. She ended up having an affair which broke up her marriage.

    And this idea itself is the product of the same rotting culture that MJBubba is addressing. Divorcing (the choice of words is not accidental) sex from marriage, before or after, can only be done by disconnecting it from the marriage covenant altogether. That includes personal fantasies, the grist of Hollywood. And that degrades the very essence of marriage, even though marriage is so much more than sex. The inevitable result is the loss of marriage altogether – which we are witnessing.

    And the result? Try this: Go to any jail or prison. Take a survey of the inmates, male and female, to find out how many of them were raised in intact families. Actually, a statistical sample might not be enough – you may well not chance upon a single one. Now ask me about the cost to society of sex outside marriage, for any reason at all. Anybody interested in a cost – benefit analysis?

    • #30
    • August 25, 2016, at 8:20 AM PDT
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